I haven’t fully processed the horrific events of 12-14-12. My heart hasn’t fully absorbed what it means that these innocent lives are lost to us. I don’t know what the answers are for keeping our children safe in the future, but I imagine it involves more than legislation for controlling guns. I imagine it involves a shift in the consciousness of humanity, that we each take up our post to shine as brightly as we can, to bring love, peace and hope to all around us.

Perhaps these words sound trite and powerless when brought to bear against the explosive sound of gunshot. Perhaps the angry rampages I’ve seen on Facebook from those pro or con gun control is their way of taking action, of trying to figure out a way to fix what is so very broken in our world.

We need to DO something. We need to FIX this. We need to keep our children safe and FORCE this world into a shape that could never imagine allowing something so horrible to happen. How can we just sit and do nothing when so much has been lost–when the most precious resources of our world are threatened by the unstable winding down of mad minds bent on destruction?

I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. Because I don’t think the answer can be external. Putting aside gun control debates (because there are pros and cons to the pros and cons and it’s all relative and not really the point of this discussion), what has to happen for this to NOT happen again? What part of our collective consciousness has to be fixed for this to heal?

Sure, without guns perhaps the killings wouldn’t have been as easy, as horrific, as complete. But the problem would still exist, even if it couldn’t manifest in such an extraordinarily awful way.

I look at the names of those children, the ages… 6 and 7 year olds. My youngest is 6. She’s a genius and loves theater and cuddles and loves her Mommy more than anyone in the world. There would be a gaping whole in the world and in my heart if she were ripped from her place here at such a tender age. Those children, what they suffered… what their classmates suffered watching their friends and teachers die as they feared for their lives.

My imagination plays this again and again and it’s horrific. Truly, there are no words.

So where did this break occur? What is THE ANSWER? We are begging for one, collectively, our faces drawn in fear and grief with the blood of those children staining our souls.

Except this isn’t a broken bone that can be fixed, this is a cancer that has infected every part of our world.

We can’t cut it out of us without losing everything. We can burn it out without burning ourselves up. So how do we kill it? How do we destroy the fear and anger that led to this? That leads to all acts such as this?

Well, that’s part of the problem. Trying to kill or destroy or fight fear and anger only feeds them more, gives them more power. We have to do something different if we want a different result. We have to turn away from the fear and anger, and feed the world with light, love and hope. It’s esoteric in thought, but has tangible actions to back it up and make it stick.

It’s about change from within. Starting with myself, my family, my life, then shining as brightly as I can for others. It’s about healing, mercy, patience, and hope. If we can somehow saturate our world with this, then this kind of darkness would have a much harder time finding a foothold.

I’ve seen talk of mental illness, drugs used on kids that make them this way. Perhaps that’s part of it. I don’t know. And please understand I’m not suggesting we don’t guard our children, or pass legislation to protect them, or find concrete ways to implement safety measures in schools. We need all of that.

But at the heart… at the core we need a more radical internal shift that isn’t so easy to see or do. It’s not the same for everyone. It’s not about one way or one religion or one worldview. It will look different for each person on the surface, but it will hold the essence of truth. The essence of love.

I don’t know of any other way to process this, than to acknowledge that I have to do my part to ‘be the change I want to see’.

And so I leave you with this–books that have inspired me on my journey, and a call to action.

Beginning on January 2nd, 2013, I’m going to be chronicling 28 Dragon Days of Transformation on this blog, and I’m inviting you to all join me. Again, this will look different for everyone, but here’s what it will look like for me.

For 28 days, I’m going to work through Rhonda Byrne’s The Magic and focus each day on gratitude. I’m going to give thanks for all the magic that does exist in the world, despite the darkness that is also here. I’m going to transform my own world by acknowledging the beauty, love and wonder that is already present.

As part of my personal journey, I will also be engaging in 28 days of Hot Yoga and moving to a new way of eating (specifically I’ll be using the GAPS diet, to heal and regulate my digestive tract and moods… I mention this because so much can be changed for our world, for our children, even in cases of psychiatric problems, with a whole foods diet.)

Each day I will post here about my journey. If you’d like to join me, you can participate at whatever level you’d like, from getting the book and joining me in gratitude, to finding your own way of shining light back into the world. I welcome comments, but they aren’t required. My goal is find the change from within. From within myself and, hopefully, from within our collective world community as you join with me.

Will this lessen the horror of those lives lost? No. Will it stop the next shooting from happening? I don’t know. It could. There is real power here. Real power to heal our world if we join together to bring it up from the dredges of fear and pain where it lives in now.

Will you join me? Will you stand by me and shine so brightly in your world that no darkness dare step foot in your presence?

We can be that change we want to see. Our light can make a difference, and I want to see what can happen if we join forces and do this together.

Resources:

The Magic by Rhonda Byrne (the book I’ll be using for the 28 days)

Other books I’ve found greatly inspirational (not a complete list by any stretch, but a few that are good to start with). I welcome comments with your own suggestions.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne